SO much is written on loss by multiple minds and suffering hearts far better than mine. Nevertheless, of course, I must add my perspective as well. When you reach my age, it gives a certain liberty to just keep talking, whether anyone is listening or not!
Few people may read this blog; but those few who accidentally or purposefully do so might be helped by my process and opinion. On that slim chance, I will share my experiences with loss.
Have you ever lost your keys and finally found them where you had already looked five times before? Once, I had lunch with a friend and as we left the restaurant, I searched my purse for the car keys . . . couldn’t find them, checked in the restaurant, poured the contents out on the car hood, my friend and I rechecked the contents three times and still couldn’t find them. Finally, I gave up and called my husband to bring his set of keys—believing I had lost them forever. When he got there, he did the husband-thing . . . asking how this could happen, etc., and I replied indignantly he could check my purse himself!! He did. And, he found those blankity-blank keys in my purse! All my friend and I could do was look at each other in total disbelief and laugh.
In the trauma of any moment, we often are like that. The keys analogy is a trivial analogy. But, it shows that in the moment of loss, we do not always see clearly, sometimes even with friends’ help. That’s when we need to give ourselves some grace and with humility call on someone who does have the answers . . . who has the keys we need.
My sister once said that in trauma or panic or loss, you revert, you “do what you know.” I know most would say if you haven’t developed any inner resources before trouble enters, you will collapse.
Perhaps. I suggest that perhaps even with inner resources you may still collapse. I suggest (based on personal experiences) that it is never too late to recover, to still become all you have been created to be. It’s never too late to find your way back-even when a big chunk of who you are is cut out of your heart.
One thing happens in difficult times. You find out who you really are and what you truly believe. And that process takes time. So, if you have lost something or someone, give yourself the grace of time, and do not give up hope for life to return.
It will never return to what it was. But, with God’s help, it will return to a deeper and more solid place–if we will let Him work through it all with us.
You know the old cliché, ‘no two snowflakes are alike.’ Well, as overused as that is, it is true. We each one, with God’s help, can find our way into what we were created to be . . . each in our own unique way and timing.
Check in with God. Give Him and yourself the time needed to hear, heal and restore. He did imply many times to “try Him and see what He can do.”
Keep looking up, LMHW
© September 25, 2015